Shakespeare said it best in Julius Caesar:
Let me have men about me that love cats.
(Actually, I’ve changed the quote slightly. The original read: Let me have men about me that are fat. But it’s still close enough, I think.)
Anyway, the point is that you need to look for a man who goes all melty when he sees a kitten, and who talks to cats in a special silly voice, and who knows exactly where to scratch them so that they turn themselves inside out with ecstasy. There are many reasons why cat lovers make the best boyfriend, husband and romantic hero material. I have listed some of the most important ones below.
- He appreciates independence. A true cat lover doesn’t mind that his cat spends half the day napping, and the rest of the time it won’t come when it’s called. In fact, he’s grateful for the ten minutes when his cat deigns to be near him. This means he’ll be unconditionally pleased to see you when you get back in the evening after a drunken lunch with the girls, and he’ll be happy for you to have a time consuming hobby. (Mine is horses.) Cats make men try harder. You can reap the benefits.
- He knows how to tickle. Because cats are exacting creatures. You have to stroke them just so. Not too hard, not too soft, NOT an inch to the left, and for just as long as they want or you’ll be minus your hand. This means your cat loving man has been superbly trained to offer a blissful foot and leg tickle as you snuggle with him in front of the TV. Make the most of it, and don’t forget to claw him if he stops too soon.
- He’s used to fussiness. Many times, he’s followed his pampered feline holding a dish of food while begging. This means when he suggests dinner at the local KFC, you can look at him all slanty eyed and go, “No… no. I don’t think so. I’m not really… in the mood. I feel like three courses with some good wine at that new French bistro.” And he will go, “Yes, yes, of course, darling,” while thinking: At least she’ll be eating! Then I won’t feel guilty!
- He will think hard before getting angry, and knows how to apologize. You see, if you speak harshly to a dog, it’ll be back wagging its tail a minute later. Speak harshly to a cat, and it will be so offended you might never see it again. He’s always aware of the effect his moods will have on you. And if he unintentionally hurts your feelings – well, he’s used to hours of groveling after accidentally treading on the cat when it got underfoot. You can expect the same.